Prison Break

So Michael and Lincoln manage to make it to the ship and sail away to Panama, but Dr. Sara is apprehended before she can join them. Mahone is peeved because he only nabs one out of three fugitives. Those of us who are overly invested in the Michael/Sara relationship, perhaps for reasons we do not care to discuss because we think you just wouldn’t understand, are peeved because…those two, like ships that pass in the night. Why must Terrence Steadman be the most romantically successful on this show?

Anyway, then we get the credits and the episode kicks off in earnest. Mahone’s office is now a real-space analogue to the timeline threads in the forums, or perhaps Kevin Spacey’s bedroom in Se7en.

Internal Affairs leans on C-Note, but he brings his A-game, reminding them that the last time an agent offered him a deal, there was a string attached. So the agents buckle and agree to check a free C-Note into the witness protection program, provided he testifies against Mahone. Score one for C-Note.

Meanwhile, Sucre and Bellick make the least fun road trip duo since Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson. Bellick is threatening Sucre with Maricruz’s life, and since we all know how Sucre feels about Maricruz…anyway, the two of them go tearing around Mexico looking for T-Bag and sparking international incidents wherever they alight.

As for T-Bag, he’s busy using Westmoreland’s money to pay Mexican hookers to playact in his vivid fantasy life. And since T-Bag is a homicidal pervert with good ol’ fashioned values, what he fantasizes about…is family life with Susan. Then T-Bag may have killed the hooker, but I was in the shower, scrubbing frantically and screaming, “Unclean! I feel so unclean!” after the initial scene, it was hard to see anything.

Then the brothers are touring through beautiful Panama, and that lasts for about all of ten minutes before they rumble in the jungle. Linc thinks Michael’s just sulking over Dr. Sara. Michael’s sulking over the trail of bodies his actions have created plus Dr. Sara currently being in the FBI’s custody.

And running throughout this episode is The Passion of the Mahone, wherein he’s about to let Wheeler bring him in because it’s the right thing to do, until Agent Kim comes in and dangles the prospect of the One World Conspiracy making it allllll better. All Mahone has to do in exchange? Head to Panama and bring back T-Bag alive. And if he happens to run into the brothers, so much the better.